Ã Thank you note to my best pal, Jesus Christ,
who injected me with the best sedative, while making this story, His Love …
I remember the day I was set up for a big life upgrade; and if you are you one of the people that think life is ironic, or at least funny in some ways, then keep scrolling.
I call it a mental glow up but in truth it was only the day I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Everyone around me sounded deaf, in a way, yet so loud, the nurses running around in a hurry to save the more lives they could, to serve actually. Especially them, they were the loudest ones. The doctor’s on the other hand were pretty much silent, as if someone had paused them by clicking on the mute button. It wasn’t the pain or the constant tiredness that got me suspicious before the big “a-ha” moment; it was a vague sense that everyone around me were changing, and they started avoiding me; to be exact, they avoided making direct eye contact with me. That’s how I knew. Well, that and the constant feeling I had for about one month, as if a security alarm was warning me to do more thorough tests, even though the doctors kept finding nothing. It turned out, my “a-ha” moment was lurking in the shadows.
I remember standing outside my surgeon’s office, and I couldn’t help by overhear a discussion between a doctors council about my case.
“ We can’t tell her what’s wrong before this big operation that’s coming up. We have to focus on preventing the cancer from spreading to her internal organs. The cyst and tumor are at the size of an orange, it is already difficult as it is to get through this clean up. She needs all the strength she can get for now…”
There was no mention of “the Big C” , still , I knew I had to fight for my life.
The sound of the nurses going back and forth with their tools, making sure to check on those patient charts, was blurred by a completely different sound, one that seemed that a distant echo. It was coming from the old rusty window, down the corridor; it was a beautiful pair of sparrows looking for bread crumbs that the patients often left for them, in spite of the hospital’s guidelines to not feed them because they would be a cause of many infections. It may have looked like an old hospital , but it was only fifty years old, compared to the other one that was originally built as part of the King’s stables (back when Greece was ruled under monarchy) and had less echo.
The birds took my mind off my problems for a while, with their subtle yet elegant rhythm and their gentle maneuver. After all, it was spring; actually we had just entered the last month of spring and we were heading towards summer. If it wasn’t for those two little, brown fellas, I wouldn’t have realized so.
The doctor that was appointed my surgery came out of the office were the council took place, holding a big yellow file that had copies of all my exams, proof that I was sick, proof that I needed to stand still and do as I was told so.
He was heading towards me, as if everyone in the hall froze and when he finally stood in front of me, with a calming and reassuring smile, he held my hand and asked me to rise from my chair and walk beside him.
“ I understand you would rather be with your friends right now, drinking cocktails and going for a swim after the sunset, but your health is more important, we need to take care of you.” He said.
I took a pause and looked down, thinking about the images his words created in my mind and then contemplating about my friends. My dear ones…as if what I was going though wasn’t enough, I began to suspect they were starting to run out on me, declining my calls.
“ I couldn’t help but look at the details on the form you completed when you first checked in, and I noticed that your birthday is near; tomorrow to be exact!” he sounded excited as if my surgery wasn’t happening the very same day. I forced a smile on my face and continued to walk beside him, down the long hallway.
“ Of course you don’t have to change your lifestyle, just because you are having an operation, you are just have to postpone your party, until you recoup, that’s all!” he added, carelessly.
I didn’t have the strength to complete his sentences or contradict him, and he genuinely seemed like he cared for me, as he reassured me that after the specific surgery I would not have to worry about my health anymore, as “ it was a very drastic surgery”, as he put it. Of course he was masking the fact that I was about to have a total hysterectomy at the same day as my 24th birthday, a detail I would discover later on.
“How poetic…” I cynically thought to myself ; as the artist in me was eagerly waiting to come out.
End of part One | To Be Continued …